Reflecting on one's own end of life is not often an emphasis in daily life. For most people, thoughts about this only become current when there is a concrete reason to do so. Yet many people do think about this. When someone falls ill or passes away in their own circle, when they read or hear about ‘treatment wishes’ or ‘quality of life and dying’. Thoughts may then run through your mind such as: ‘what would I want?’, ‘how do I find the words and make this known to my loved ones or others who will be important in this?’.

You can discuss these thoughts with family, friends and healthcare providers involved in your care. Sometimes this can be difficult; you may struggle to find the words to express yourself and perhaps you want to explore your thoughts about this first. Having a conversation partner with a listening ear to support you with this can therefore be helpful. The Centre for Life Questions (Centrum Ontmoeting in Levensvragen - COiL) offers the space for a conversation with a volunteer to explore thoughts and wishes surrounding the end of life.

In conversation with a volunteer
You can expect the following when you have a conversation with a volunteer:

• An introductory visit with one of the COiL coordinators. You will then receive information about what you can expect from contact with the volunteer. Based on this conversation, you decide whether or not to proceed;
• The coordinator will then get in touch with a volunteer and do the necessary handover. The volunteer will contact you for an initial discussion.
• Three to five conversations will follow with the volunteer. This starts with an orientation: what is on your mind? You might think about discussing what quality of life and dying means to you, thoughts about an advance directive, or wishes you have for your funeral.
• Following the three to five conversations, the contact is concluded. 

What the conversations can mean for you
Thoughts about the end of life or your own funeral can be heavy, for yourself or your loved ones. Conversations with a volunteer can help support you in putting your thoughts into words in order to start the conversation with loved ones, friends or care providers. It can help clarify what is important and of value to you.

Regarding the conversation, the COiL provides space for orientation and weighing up choices. The volunteers do not give advice on how you should make choices. Furthermore, the volunteers do not accompany you to appointments with, for example, your GP or a notary. The volunteers do not keep records of the conversations.